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The Trimaris Fashion Report

(and other things happening around the Kingdom)
Lady reading

In 1352 BC Egypt, the young Pharaoh Tutankhamun was buried with 145 loincloths. Surely that was an ample supply for the afterlife. Over the years, underwear has been associated with modesty... or with the lack of it. Underclothes are inextricably associated with morality, sensuousness, cleanliness, sexuality, hygiene and — sometimes — even social status. No wonder it's a complex topic, further complicated by the whims of fashion. One thing is sure: man's anatomy has always dictated the design of his underclothes. For more information a man's underwear, check out There's so much information on underwear it may make your eyes bleed. (Is Kaine gay?)

Anyone got a can opener?

So many pretty people around the list field — so many of the same faces, and so many I have no idea who they are! I mean, I've been a Trimarian all my SCA life, and I've been around long enough to know who Duke Verron is, but man — I guess our Kingdom is growing exponentially. Or maybe I'm on one plane of Trimarian existence and they are on another. Whatever the case, I need to go find out who some of you are — because you are all dressing so well! I feel like I'm doing my kingdom an injustice, especially to the lady who looked like Princess Sophie from "Braveheart." Who are you? You looked so gorgeous! (E-mail the editor at — I just gotta know.) So, back to Crown Lyst, the field was littered with white belts and squires to contend with. The processions were packed, and the lyst was larger than usual for our comfortably sized kingdom. Seems like everyone wants to be someone. Nice guys Sir Roland and Sir Ardion (don't tell them I said they were nice) looked great on the field with their lovely wives beside them. Earl Gunnar had a pretty pavilion and a very patriotic gonfalon hung over it. Very sharp. "Nice heraldry, my lord!" Speaking of patriotic, the Triskele Legion looked very spiffy in their tabards. It's so easy to see who's in it. I looked carefully for some bobble-headed knights — like the ones in the last issue of this fine publication — but I couldn't find any. (I heard one was at Dragon Con.) How the heck am I supposed to round out my collection? I couldn't even find Captain Teutonic. And on top of all that, I was disappointed that Lady Sireena was not fought for this time. I was really wondering what her procession was going to look like this time around. Bummer. (Is Kaine gay?)

Captain Teutonic!

Panhandle Skirmishes was so much fun, even with the downpour Friday night and the horrible heat Saturday. The usual went on: fighting, then more fighting, then some pick ups, and then a little more fighting. As usual, Cerberus looked fab on the field. Love those matching tabards, you guys! There were a bunch of interesting folks wherever you turned. I made a few new Meridian pals and got to spend some time with a few Ansteorrans I usually only see at Gulf Wars. What a great time I had. So what I really have to report on went on after 11pm that night... after Court, after the lawn party... when it got dark! There was the fabulous Squire Chorus Line to the tune of "Knights Boys Knights" led by Sir Baras, Baron of Osprey, Meridies. Although I think this time all associates got sucked into it. This is THE Panhandle Tradition now. Lord Simon Maurus ran a game of "Simon Says" and if you have never played his version, you are so missing out. (It was even funny when he sassed HRM Martin!) Guess what? HRM Martin sang! What doesn't this man do?! Duke Baldar entertained the crowd as well with some cool songs and his guitar. Our knights are way cool. Purple party beads and fighter authorization stickers were the fashion accessories later on in the evening. Seems that Earl Gregory had a birthday and Ser Severin had an anniversary. There was some party game involving bodices and pennies for the two guests of honor. (You had better ask them about it.) There was lots of food, lots of partying and a good time was had by all. Some other things happened that I can't really write about in a family publication such as this one, but there was a doumbek wrestling match that night as well — and I can state with certainty that Lady Grania ni Carroll was the overall winner.

Viking Panty Raids!!

Congratulations are due to Brenna Jerabek and Sasha Gregor'evich Vilanov newly invested as Coronets of Darkwater. For the occasion, they wore matching black cotehardies and looked very regal. Master Haakon and Mistress Elizabeth have stepped down, and come on now, did they not just do a fabulous job? Let's have a vivat for them — VIVAT! Woo hoo — and for the record, doesn't Haakon really look like a vicious Viking? I mean, I knew he's a sweet man, but still, if he became a berserker for some reason, I'd be fleeing for my life. He's one bad muther— SHUT YO' MOUTH! But I'm just talking 'bout Haakon! Over on the other side of the kingdom, Baroness Lucia and Baron Frederick were celebrating the 30th Anniversary of Wyvernwoode — and what a party! Fighting, fencing, boffer lyst, Wyvernwoode Trivia Contest AND a feast to die for including escargot, shrimp and prime rib — I kid you not! Very late in the evening, there were puppets. Sir John Paul and Lord Logan did a show loosely based on the Lord of the Rings. If nothing else, it was interesting. Lady Hyrokkin was very entertaining as the curtain rod for the puppet stage.

NB - There's nothing wrong with being gay. The Knights just have this running gag with Sir Kaine, see?

The Quarter - We're more fun than a barrel full of seneschals!